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Work on Yourself To Improve Your Parenting: A Conversation with Ruth Freeman

parenting self-care Mar 20, 2019

Parenting. 

It's exhausting.

When they're little, the exhaustion is primarily physical. 

As they get older, it shifts from physically to emotionally challenging. 

We want to love them and teach them.  We want them to cooperate, listen, and learn so that they become empowered, self-aware people. 

Most of the time spent parenting focuses on our kids and what they need to do or learn or how they need to behave and respond to life.   

Today's guest challenges that idea.   Ruth Freeman, a parenting coaching at Peace at Home Parenting and licensed social worker with over 3 decades of experience working with parents and kids, says that parents need to spend more time on their own thoughts and behaviors.   How we raise our kids is a direct product of our own upbringing, fears, expectations, and societal norms.  

That isn't a criticism.  It's an observation. Understanding it can help you identify what...

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How to Put Self-Love Into Action

self-care self-love time Mar 02, 2019

Last weeks episode focused on self-love.  It laid a framework to think about how to truly love yourself, starting with what you think, say and require of yourself and those around you. 

That foundation is important.  But, the focus of WifeMotherLeader is always how to put action behind ideas. How does this work in my real life that is messy, busy and not packages in 5 clear steps? 

Today's podcast focuses on some specific ways that you can translate self-love into your daily life. Remember, self-care is really self- love in action.  So, consistent self-care is what you do because you have self-love.

Here are 6 ways that you can put self-love into action: 

  1. One Hour Per Week of "Think Time."   
    1. Many of us spend most of our day consuming content and listening to outside voices.  Maybe it's music, podcasts, audiobooks, your colleagues and clients, and/or your family.   How much time do you have without the background noise...
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What Self-Love Demands of You

Hopefully, you've recovered from the onslaught of "love" from Valentine's Day.   Flowers, candy, and romantic love were everywhere.   But, once the day was over (and maybe during it), did you truly feel love? 

What did you say to yourself on February 13th or on February 15th? 

In this episode,  I’ll share 5 things about self-love that are critical if you want to have peace and joy, even if your life is busy and chaotic right now:

  • How self-love is different from self-care
  • Self-love requires you to talk differently  
  • Self-love demands that you advocate for yourself
  • Self-love teaches you to forgive yourself
  • Why self-love matters to you, your marriage and your kids

If you're pressed for time, you can get a summary below, but the full explanation is in the podcast.

 

1. How self-love is different

Get a massage.  Get a manicure.  Get a babysitter and take yourself out.   Those are all great...

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How to Heal Diastasis Recti with Caroline Johnson

Mummy tummy.

Pooch.

Baby belly.

It's exactly the thing that you don't want to happen after having a baby.   It's not because you're vain.  The transformation that your body goes through during pregnancy changes so much about you--physically, mentally, and emotionally.   Our physical bodies have many reminders, including scars, stretch marks, and extra stored fat that wasn't there before.   We get it and we're not mad about it.  

However, abdominal separation is more than just your belly looking like it's still a few months pregnant when you're not (although none of us would choose that).  It can be painful and cause other complications because your connective tissue and muscle that support your back and keep your internal organs in place, is  separated. 

In this week's episode, I talk with Caroline Johnson, of Belly Rebuild, about diastasis recti.  Diastasis recti is the separation of your transverse...

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What It's Really Like to Return to Work After 4 Years at Home

Donielle, how in the heck did you end up staying home for four years if that wasn't your career plan?

I worked in market research in the Pharma and biotech industry for about seven years.  I had my first son and went back to work (after about 8 months of leave).   Over the next two years, I continued building my career, until I had made it to the senior director level--a huge milestone!  

Then I had my second son. He was born in September. I went on maternity leave and was going to return in January. But, two weeks after my son was born, we got his diagnosis of Sickle Cell Disease and it literally changed our lives.  

In the episode I share: 

  1. Why I decided to leave work (not my career "plan" up until that point)
  2. Key lessons I learned when I decided to return to work 4 years later, including
    1. Why your work and your network are the most important things that you have control over
    2. I’ve still got it, although I am wiser and more...
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12 Lessons from 12 Years of Marriage: Lessons 1-3 (Part 4)

This is the final episode in this series where I share key lessons from 12 years of marriage. 

Lessons 4-12 were not in a particular order, but 1-3 are.  These are the 3 most important lessons that have shaped our marriage.   

These lessons are what have made the most difference in our marriage. They are what I would tell an engaged or newly married couple if I only had a few minutes to share some advice. 

In this episode, I focus on the following lessons: 

  • Lesson 3: Teamwork makes the dream work
  • Lesson 2: Pray together daily
  • Lesson 1: God must be at the center

If you didn't listen to Part 1Part 2, or Part 3, with lessons 4-12, check them out:

  • Lesson 12: Change Yourself.  Don't try to change your husband. 
  • Lesson 11: Being vulnerable helps you be understood
  • Lesson 10: Cheerleading is a skill you must learn 
  • Lesson 9: You have to advocate for yourself.
  • Lesson 8: Kids are a gift from God, but...
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12 Lessons from 12 Years of Marriage: Lessons 4-6 (Part 3)

lessons love marriage sex Jan 17, 2019

 (photo credit: Lawrence Neeley)

In this series (4 episodes) I am sharing key lessons that I wish I had known when we first got married as well as some lessons that can only be learned along the way to building a healthy and strong and vibrant marriage.

In this episode, I focus on the following lessons: 

  • Lesson 6: Like is a feeling.  Love is an action. 
  • Lesson 5: It will be the things you don’t plan for that determine the success of your relationship
  • Lesson 4: Great sex is a by-product of a great marriage (not the other way around)

If you didn't listen to Part 1 or Part 2, with lessons 7-12, check them out:

  • Lesson 12: Change Yourself.  Don't try to change your husband. 
  • Lesson 11: Being vulnerable helps you be understood
  • Lesson 10: Cheerleading is a skill you must learn 
  • Lesson 9: You have to advocate for yourself.
  • Lesson 8: Kids are a gift from God, but shouldn’t be the center of your entire world
  • Lesson 7: My...
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12 Lessons from 12 Years of Marriage: Lessons 7-9 (Part 2)

lessons marriage vulnerable Jan 10, 2019

(drawing credit: Steven Green)

In this series (4 episodes) I am sharing key lessons that I wish I had known when we first got married as well as some lessons that can only be learned along the way to building a healthy and strong and vibrant marriage.

If you didn't listen to Part 1, with lessons 10-12, check it out here:

  • Lesson 12: Change Yourself.  Don't try to change your husband. 
  • Lesson 11: Being vulnerable helps you be understood
  • Lesson 10: Cheerleading is a skill you must learn

In Part 2, I focus on the next 3 key lessons: 

  • Lesson 9: You have to advocate for yourself.
  • Lesson 8: Kids are a gift from God, but shouldn’t be the center of your entire world
  • Lesson 7: My interests are my interests and so are yours

Tune into the episode to hear specific examples for each of these lessons and learn how you might apply them to your own marriage.

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12 Lessons from 12 Years of Marriage: Lessons 10-12 (Part 1)

lessons marriage prayer Jan 02, 2019

 

So 12 years of marriage you ask? That's right!

I know you can't believe I'm that old, but, my husband and I celebrated 12 years of marriage this past September. I thought it would be a great opportunity for me to reflect on some of the lessons that I've learned in this time.

If you've listened to the podcast before, you've heard me talk about marriage quite a bit.  And, of course, the first word in WifeMotherLeader is wife. 

In this series (4 episodes) I am going to share some lessons that I wish I had known I'm starting out and just some lessons that you learned along the way to build a healthy and strong and vibrant marriage.

In Part 1 (podcast episode #15), I focus on lessons 10-12. 

  • Lesson 12: Change Yourself.  Don't try to change your husband. 
  • Lesson 11: Being vulnerable helps you be understood
  • Lesson 10: Cheerleading is a skill you must learn

Tune into the episode to hear specific examples for each of these lessons and learn how...

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The Marriage Secret No One Is Telling You About

marriage prayer Mar 09, 2017

My ears perked up as I listened to Pastor Sid start sharing marriage statistics. Cullen and I were engaged. We were actively thinking about how to be intentional about building a healthy, thriving marriage.

Pastor Sid shared about how the divorce rate, even for Christians, was 50%. That was not particularly inspiring. Then, there was a “but.” He went on to share a statistic that would change the course of our marriage (which hadn’t even started yet) and our lives.

“Less than 1% of couples who pray together daily get divorced.” Wait, what?! Did he just reveal the secret to a successful marriage?

Wasn’t it more complicated than that? What about communication, forgiving one another, and mutual respect? Didn’t we have to go on regular date nights? Wasn’t he going to tell Cullen to make sure that he took on chores at home and didn’t focus only on work? Wasn't he going to tell me to ask for what I needed and not always put myself...

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Lean in.  Lean Out.  Work-Life balance.  Forget all the buzz words.  Your life and family are unique. WifeMotherLeader will provide you with actionable advice and expert guidance to help you build a family life that aligns with your deepest values and a career that is fulfilling and thriving, but not taking over your world.